My Grandpa will turn 89 years old this year. For being “so old,” he is still on top of his game. Sharp as a whip and with a sense of humor so dry even martinis are jealous, he is an active clog dancer, volunteers at his church where he also serves as a Deacon and he enjoys his carpentry work. He tends his garden almost daily and does a multitude of household chores with my Grandma. It’s really sweet. He came out two summers ago from Michigan and built my mother a green house. Last summer, my family and I trekked to Michigan from Idaho to celebrate their 60th Wedding Anniversary. Over 200 of my grandparents good friends showed up to the celebration, and they all polka danced the night away!
Since I turned 35 I think about my own mortality a lot. Sick, I know…but it makes me admire my Grandparents even more. I am proud that they have lived long, fruitful and enjoyable lives and I only hope that I live as well and as long. Granted, it’s not all been a bed of roses. But when faced with difficulties, Grandpa had a saying that goes like this: ”Let the whole of what you say be doused in truth and love.”
In truth and love. What does that mean, exactly? This is hard for some to figure out. I know I struggle with it every day. If only I could have used his wisdom in more of my conversations! Especially the really difficult conversations, where I am particularly apt at blowing one or the other…or both!
These past few months have been a real lesson in Grandpa’s wisdom. I have found out who my real friends are and who are mere acquaintances… and who will fall away as not worthy of my time or attention. I learned that a true friend will always speak to you, truthfully and with respect for you no matter how difficult the words are to say. I learned that sometimes this is the hardest thing-but absolutely the best thing-a friend can ever do for you.
So, is that the secret to a long and successful life? Not just talking in “truth & love.” Truth & love is just a means to an end. I mean, the real secret is true friendship. True friends carry each other through the tough times and celebrate during the good ones. We say the hard things that need to be said to each other and praise each other for being so freaking cool.
When I am finished obsessing about my own legacy, I want to look back and say I have lived a long and successful life. I try to incorporate his wisdom into my daily routine, and I can’t think of a better way to live.
